8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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