She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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