Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I love having hate sex.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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