If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
