Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
