I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
