i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
