Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
