I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
