my shit smells like andre
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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