I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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