I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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