Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
