You can't motorboat a personality
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
