If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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