She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
