U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
