You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
