do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize