I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
