Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
