Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
