Need sex. Gaining weight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
