TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
