singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
