Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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