Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
