It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
