I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
