I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
