remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
