May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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