I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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