So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
