She's JV to your varsity
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
