I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
