i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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