Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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