i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
