i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
