the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
this hospital has no fireball
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
