Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
