Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
