did you get engaged???
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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