ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Porn is love you can see.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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