Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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