worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
