She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
