the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
