butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm really into asian looking animals
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
