So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
