I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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